The Chief was Google translating the hell out of his feeling for me and when he saw in my passport my birthday was on June 6th (that day was June 5th) he started congratulating me in advance and forced Jorge to sing a very Brazilian Happy Birthday song together for me. Nice to know that even my worst nightmares have a way of turning into slapsticks.
The Bitch was pacing around, talking on the phone: to my Brazilian aunt in the Netherlands, but I didn’t know that until the next day. After I told my mom this Bitch & Boat situation was bad news + the name of the hotel, my phone died. Being the mom she is, she wasted no time to help me. She had contact with our lawyer, called the Dutch Embassy in Brazil, the Brazilian one in Holland and the emergency number BuZa; but they didn't answer right away. She then called my aunt in the middle of the night, who called the hotel, several times even to smooth things over and mainly to calm the Bitch. It helped because the Bitch wasn’t afraid to lock me up/make me shark bait but instead she listened to my aunt, who asked her to tell the French guy whose passport was missing to check his room again. Side note: who the hell leaves a passport in an open plastic bag unattended in a non-secured hotel lobby? Were you dropped on your head when you were little?
We waited in silence, I knew that if he couldn’t find his misplaced documents I'd be in more trouble since nobody listened to me or responded to my request to take my statement/check my backpack to see I didn’t steel anything. Then I realised I had my back turned to the backpack & the crew on the boat, maybe they put something in there: the passport? Drugs?
The French guy returned, looking... ashamed? With my high school French I could perfectly understand him when he said his passport had been in the backpocket of the shorts HE WAS WEARING RIGHT NOW AND HAD BEEN ALL DAY. I forgot to breathe and got the loudest hiccups I’ve ever had. Instead of apologising, The Bitch and the French guys called me a putain one last time and left, leaving me with the Chief, Jorge & The Rock. I was a mess and my legs were shaking so they finally took me inside and gave me the Best Chair (which was the Chiefs). The Chief left, gave me a big fat wet birthday kiss on my cheek and took off, happily waddling away on his sandals while singing the Brazilian Birthday Song again.